Anger and Insecurity

What is anger?

Anger is a secondary emotion.

Typically, we experience a primary emotion like fear, loss, or sadness first. Because these emotions create feelings of vulnerability and loss of control, they make us uncomfortable. One way of attempting to deal with these feelings is by subconsciously shifting into anger.

Anger is usually related to “fight or freeze” which are the responses of the sympathetic nervous system.This system is built to make you fight and be prepared. But fighting doesn’t necessarily mean throwing punches. It might motivate communities to avoid injustice by changing laws or enforcing new norms.

Usually, anger is too easy or frequently connected to undermine relationships or damage, physical health in the long term. Prolonged release of the stress hormones that accompany anger can destroy neurons in areas of the brain associated with judgment and short term memory and weaken the immune system.

How to manage anger? 

Anger can be monitored with self-awareness. This can avoid it from spiraling into hostile, aggressive, or violent behavior toward others or oneself.

In addition, there are some support groups for anger management, which can help people understand anger, identify its triggers, and develop skills to manage their emotions. In groups or individual settings, cognitive restructuring can coach patients to reframe unhealthy, inflammatory thoughts.

Techniques like deep breathing and emotion labeling to adopt a problem-solving mindset can help people prevent anger and how they can navigate it right.

What is insecurity? 

As a part of being a human being, everyone feels a little unsure about themselves sometimes. Some of our thoughts are filled with doubt, since we constantly think about what others are thinking of us and most importantly how we are seeing ourselves. This is building a bridge from our mind to feeling insecurity. Excessive uncertainty and insecurity can be leading problems in relationships or just to our everyday life. Nonetheless, there are some ways to work on the problems caused by constant insecurity. 

Mutual thought in insecurity is feeling like not being enough. At worst, uncertainty causes anxiety about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations. 

Everyone is dealing with insecurity at least at one point in their lives. Insecurity can appear in various situations, and it can be caused by many reasons. It might stem from a traumatic event, patterns of previous experience, social conditioning (learning rules by observing others), or local environments such as school, work, or home.

Those persons who experience unpredictable negative situations in every-day-life are more likely to feel insecure about usual resources and routines. Otherwise, insecurity might not have any external cause in which case it can appear as a quirk of personality or brain chemistry. 

When you are able to understand the true nature of insecurities, it is easier to manage your own insecure thoughts. 

Why do those people who suffer from being insecure, additionally, are usually angry?

People who are insecure experience a lot of fear of being abandoned or disliked because they are unsure of themselves. There has been a trigger for anger. This behavior is usually a way to protect themselves. Behind anger, you will find fear.

This is according to an ancient defensive mechanism. Many animals imitate other, more dangerous and aggressive species to keep predators away. Human behavior doesn’t differ from this. When you’re insecure you subconsciously try to keep people away so they wouldn’t hurt you, hence the anger and hatred.

When a person has low self-esteem – although they might want to protect their own identity, and they don’t value themselves very much. Their self-esteem is less thus they’re going to perceive an insult to be in fact lower than they already value themselves. In fact, the idea that self-esteem is tied to aggression might be the reason.

Angry people might have suffered from an injustice that they’re not telling you, but they’re punishing you by their angry behavior, even though  you may not have been the abuser, but an individual is triggered by your presence and actions to be reminded of their Injustice. They might feel disrespected. They were victims at some points, but they’re no longer victims when they become bullies.

Compassion and empathy towards insecurity and anger

One of the most helpful things we can do for ourselves and to others is get to know ourselves on a deep level, with compassion, empathy and curiosity. It’s not always the easiest way; it takes a lot of work and commonly is a painful experience to face the parts of ourselves that we have hidden- and hidden from- out of a feeling of necessity and fear. Often, this process requires another mind- or community of minds – to help us understand our minds and behavior better.

Article written by: Julia Leino

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